Ranking Star Wars

Hey, so this has been pretty popular recently, in an internet endlessly obsessed with ranking things.  (Hey, I do it, too, and have many lists here, but without pictures.  So nobody cares.)  Here's my worst to first:

12. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
In their rush to prop up the narrative that anything's better than the prequels, fans latched onto the later TV series, but...this is the bottom of the barrel.  Period.  In animation particularly, the need for art becomes paramount.  A lot of animated flicks try to skirt by on adventure or jokes, but if there's nothing to hang it on, sparse characterization or minimal effort in storytelling, the results fall flat.  And this is as flat as Star Wars will hopefully ever get.

11. Rogue One (2016)
Those same fans latched onto Rogue One because it was everything they wanted Star Wars to be, and to my mind, this can be summed up as: embarrassing.  A true bastardization of the saga, with as flat an understanding of the source material as Clone Wars.  Although ironically, the thing I originally liked least is the one element I like now, Ben Mendelsohn's showy turn as an outright mustache-twirling Imperial officer. 

10. Solo (2018)
Here's where I quit griping (I'm disappointed when fans grumble about seemingly the bulk of a franchise), because I actually really like Solo, but I'm finding it hard to rank the saga entries themselves, so it's just easier to get this out of the way.

9. The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
What???  Invariably, this is the one everyone else picks as the best of the franchise, and here I'm ranking it as essentially the worst?  Thematically, it's an entirely interstitial piece; where it isn't introducing bold new ideas (Yoda, Lando, Vader-as-dad) the story is actually mostly in a holding pattern, with all the key players struggling to accomplish something and having no idea if they're actually making progress.  It's literally Star Wars with no real idea of where it's going, but attempting gamely to set itself up for something bigger.  That's the definition of a game-changer, but not necessarily in glowing terms.

8. The Last Jedi (2017)
In contrast, Last Jedi makes bold creative decisions while attempting to ensure its characters are making definitive progress, too.  While Empire Strikes Back makes a lot of heroes look hapless, at least it's easier to root for Yoda than for Luke in Last Jedi, although conversely it's easier to root for Rey in Last Jedi than Luke in Empire Strikes Back.  And for all the criticism Rian Johnson has received, he's easily the third best director of the saga.

7. Attack of the Clones (2002)
Fans have been ripping on the dialogue and chemistry on display in Attack of the Clones for years, but artistically it's probably the best George Lucas ever delivered, the most streamlined of all his interests and instincts.  But as cool as Yoda is in action (the initial reaction to the movie loved this aspect, but it's since been completely forgotten), it's a little disappointing to know it rests entirely on his shoulders to pull off what the two other prequels achieve so effortlessly in lightsaber dueling.

6. The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
The final film in the saga is an excellent summation and synthesis, as well as radical reinterpretation of everything that came before it, confidently exploring the concept of redemption that felt like an afterthought previously.

5. Return of the Jedi (1983)
The later Pirates of the Caribbean franchise feels like an outgrowth of the thrilling onslaught of enthralling action that the original climax of the saga essentially is.  It might as well have been the literal template.

4. The Phantom Menace (1999)
The first of the prequels ends in breathtaking fashion with the spectacular lightsaber duel between Darth Maul (the perfection of a concept in minimalism created for Boba Fett), Ob-Wan Kenobi, and Qui-Gon Jinn.  I happen to love Jar Jar, thank you.  But no acting tops Liam Neeson in the franchise, whose performance here led to a career renaissance, regardless of  what fans think.

3. The Force Awakens (2015)
The introductions of Rey and Finn were the best in the whole saga, and Han Solo still manages to steal the show, and proving that J.J. Abrams was a worthy successor to George Lucas.

2. A New Hope (1977)
The sheer boldness of the first film will always top Empire Strikes Back in my book, an astonishing vision that sprang forth from the simple idea of trying to update Flash Gordon.  Mission greatly exceeded, Mr. Lucas.

1. Revenge of the Sith (2005)
It was the vision George Lucas had from the moment Star Wars solidified in his mind: how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader.  The prequels extended that vision to three films, but by the third it focused not on the epic clash between Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, but the seduction of Palpatine, in the single best dramatic sequence of the saga: a conversation at an opera.  Then of course Skywalker and Kenobi clash, and the inevitable happens, and the acting in the franchise reaches its zenith.  So yes, the prequels reign supreme.